HOW TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE OUTSIDE OF BEING A MOTHER AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

So, you're a new stay-at-home mom, huh? Welcome to the club! I know, it can seem daunting, even isolating at times. But honestly, it doesn't have to be. As a mom who's lived it and breathed it, I'm here to tell you that enjoying this chapter is entirely possible! Forget the outdated notions of endless laundry and monotonous routines. Think of this time as a unique opportunity to cultivate deep connections with your kids, nurture your own passions, and create a home filled with warmth and joy. It's about finding your "groove" amidst the chaos, learning to prioritize your well-being and embracing the flexibility this lifestyle allows. Trust me, with a little bit of planning, a dash of self-compassion, and a whole lot of love, you can absolutely thrive as a stay-at-home mom.

Let me start off by sharing some tips that I follow to enjoy being a stay at home mom.

1. Prioritize yourself

How do I get ‘me time’ as a stay at home mom?

The most important and probably the most difficult thing for a mother to do is to invest some quality time for herself. Just the thought of putting your own needs over everything else, even for a few minutes, can prompt you to go on that ever so familiar ‘guilt trip’. If that’s so, let me stop you right there. It’s not selfish to make yourself a priority. Think of it this way. You have a bumpy rollercoaster ride ahead of you and if you don’t want to find yourself emotionally and physically drained at the end of the day, you better trace your steps back from that guilt trip and find some time to prepare yourself for what’s to come.

Recently I made some changes to my morning routine and it really helped to kick start my day. I start my day with a proper skin care routine (that I promised myself to follow religiously) followed by a health drink (preferably smoothies).

No matter how busy my day is, I find time (no matter how little) to do what I like, (reading a favorite book or dancing to a favorite tune). It improves your mood, lifts your spirit and provide a positive vibe. I end my day with a long, much deserved, soothing warm water bath to relieve the stress and fatigue, relax my body and mind, which is then followed by a night time skin care routine.

2. Wake up early!

Whenever I tell my fellow SAHMs the importance of self prioritization, the common complaints that I get are that they cant manage to find enough time for themselves. I totally agree with them. It is very easy to lose yourself in the middle of domestic chores and familial responsibilities. Here is what I did.

‘Early Sleep and Early Rise’ is a favourite quote among mothers that we try (and mostly fail) to teach our children. While early sleep is not an option for us, waking up early can eliminate half of our problems. It will give you ample opportunity to get some lone ‘me time’ when you can do your favourite things. Or you can try to finish up your chores in the wee hours of the day so you can get some relaxation time later.

3. Going the Spiritual way!

Motherhood and Meditation!

Do you remember the first time your little one called you “Amma”, ” Maa”, “Mumma”, “Mom” or “Mommy”?? Remember the excitement, the joy, like you were on the top of the world?? Now imagine hearing it a thousand times every day for more than a decade. “Amma.. where are my pajamas?”, “Amma.. get me a snack!”, “Amma.. take me to the loo”, “Amma.. play with me” and the demands go on.. They seem to think we have all the answers (which we do btw..) and the rest of the household seems to be largely invisible(you all know who I’m talking about). This is more than enough for any mother to get to the brink of losing her sanity and transform into what’s called the ‘Rage mom’. A state of anger and resentment losing your patience and temper every now and then. We don’t want that. We all wish to be that ever loving, sweet and happy mommy that our kids adore.

That’s where Meditation and Yoga can help you. I find it more rejuvenating when I practice yoga and breathing exercises at the break of dawn. I prefer the calm and quiet of the early hours with the occasional sounds of the birds, the light morning breeze and the warmth of the rising sun piercing through my skin.

If you want to amp it up a bit you can opt for more active exercises like aerobics, zumba or simple dance moves. Along with helping your mental health it will also keep you fit and energetic. Bonus!!

4. Dress up!

Now if you are wondering what is the need of dressing up when you are a ‘stay at home’ mother, dressing up doesn’t essentially mean putting on a party wear or heavy makeup like you are going to attend a wedding, no, but you don’t really have to be in your nighties or pajamas and sweats all day long.

It is a general misconception that we need to look presentable only if we are stepping outside our homes. Less do we know the positive impact a simple change in our looks can bring upon to our dull minds. Try a simple makeover, go on and put some light makeup if you want. Every time you look in the mirror, you will find a pretty and vibrant woman smiling back at you who is ever ready to face any challenges that come her way. What better way to boost up your confidence!

5. Connect with other Mothers!

You would be surprised to know how much sharing your experiences and emotions with people who are going through similar struggles can help you get out of the shell. Taking time to actually go out and meeting friends may seem far-fetched at this point. But in this era of networking and digitalization, connecting with people at the comforts of your home seems like a piece of cake. So go ahead and take advantage of social media and try to get in touch with your peers.

It is easy to distance yourself from the outside word especially when you spend most of your time at home. But by taking the first steps to reach out, you may be gifted with some of the most wonderful friendships that you would otherwise have missed out on. Remember, there may be other mothers out there who are longing for a companionship just like you.

6. Plan short trips with family during weekends

While a weekend getaway is the ultimate stress reliever, going out on pleasure trips with children can be very challenging. It takes a lot of planning to make the trip a memorable and enjoyable one, not just for them, but for us too. You can take up the responsibility of building an itinerary, choose kids friendly places to visit, safe restaurants, make a list of things to pack, find where to stay if it’s an overnight trip and so on. I myself like to plan ahead. If it’s a weekend trip I take the whole week, little time a day, to organize and pack. This way you can be productive and build your management skills.

7. Homescaping and Gardenscaping.

Recently I painted my kids bedroom walls. It was an old beige color that we found rather dull. So, I turned it into a colorful abstract art wall. The immense joy and pride I felt after completing the job and watching the excitement and surprise of my kids made the effort worthwhile.

A very small task such as rearranging your furniture or giving your kitchen a new look can give you enough motivation for the rest of the day.

Another wonderful activity I enjoy is gardening (both floral and vegetable). Both my husband and I enjoy nurturing plants and our kids have inherited our passion. My mother is also actively involved despite her ailments. What started off as a hobby has turned into a wonderful bonding time for our family.

I’m sure I can come up with many more things that I have tried to keep myself content and happy in my role as a SAHM over the years. But that’s for another blog.

Try out these tips and let me know how you feel. Feel free to share your concerns and ideas with me. My primary goal is to reach out to fellow mothers and help them with their struggles in the best way possible.

Thank you for reading and stay connected.